I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
