Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
