I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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