Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
