Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Me too!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
