My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
