my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
