if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i believe in u and ur pee
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
