Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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