we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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