started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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