She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
