So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
then he tried to convert me to islam
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
