Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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