I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
