Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
