You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
