I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
