if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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