Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
