i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
