Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
