I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
