u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
