I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
