Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
