We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
