He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
