i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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