My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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