Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My hand turned me down
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
