Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
