Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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