dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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