..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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