A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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