please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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