As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
