So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
