I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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