Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
