I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
