it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
