Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
