You really coming over, don't trick.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
