Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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