at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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