Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
pray to the hookup gods
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
