the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I need to calm my uterus...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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