i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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