So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he puts the penis in happiness.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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